“The one who burns you with words can drown you with silence.”
I don’t know who I’m talking to or who needs to read this out there, You are not your mistake, You are not your addiction, You are not where you came from, You are not who left you, You are not who betrayed you, You are not the divorce, You are not the rape, You are not the molestation, You are not the season you failed, come to Christ Jesus and he will give you a new identity and when you get that in your soul it will change everything ~Phillip Anthony Mitchell
God Heals The Broken Hearted Psalms 147:3
I missed you quietly today and more than usual…
I missed you so quietly today that nobody noticed. I missed you with and without tears or any noise and oh how I felt it
I felt it as I stared off, as I worked, as I looked at everyone. I felt it at home, on the road, in the light, in the dark, I felt it in everything. I felt it a little too much. Yes I missed you quietly and it felt so loudly.
Grief is not just an emotion-it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once reside. In the beginning, it feels unbearable, like a wound that will never close. But over time, the raw edges begin to mend. The pain softens, but the imprint remains—a quiet reminder of what once was. The truth is, you never truly “move on.” You move with it. The love you had does not disappear; it transforms. It lingers in the echoes of laughter, in the warmth of old memories, in the silent moments where you still reach for what is no longer there. And that’s okay. Grief is not a burden to be hidden. It is not a weakness to be ashamed of. It is the deepest proof that love existed, that something beautiful once touched your life. So let yourself feel it. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself remember. There is no timeline, no “right” way to grieve. Some days will be heavy, and some will feel lighter. Some moments will bring unexpected waves of sadness, while others will fill you with gratitude for the love you were lucky enough to experience. Honor your grief, for it is sacred. It is a testament to the depth of your heart. And in time, through the pain, you will find healing-not because you have forgotten, but because you have learned how to carry both love and loss together.
Today my heart aches a little more than usual as I remember the day you left this world. The pain of losing you never truly fades, but I find comfort in knowing that love knows no boundaries, not even death. I cherish every moment that I was blessed to have with you. May you rest in eternal peace surrounded by love and light.
“They’re gone, and the world kept moving like it didn’t notice. But I did. I feel it every second — in the pit of my stomach, like a sickness. That gut-deep ache when their name crosses my mind, like l might throw up from the weight of missing them. I still reach for my phone like they’l answer. I still pause at songs we used to love. Grief isn’t loud. It’s a quiet war inside me. And I didn’t just lose them… I lost the version of me that felt alive when they were here.”
Grief is so weird because i can’t stop wondering where you are. are you watching me from somewhere? are you every bird I see? are you gone forever? are you reincarnated into a beautiful butterfly? Will i see you when I die? Or was that all the time we got?
On the hard days, you must remind yourself:
You wouldn’t trade the love to escape the grief. You wouldn’t erase the happiness to avoid the pain. And you will endure a lifetime of missing, for the privilege of having loved.
People talk about grief like it has stages.
Mine doesn’t. It just sits there, Everyday.
He was sick for a long time, addiction. The kind that takes and takes until there’s nothing left of who they were.
I have told him that he was selfish.
That he didn’t care how hard it was for me. That I was drowning. He just stared.
Quiet. That kind of quiet that makes you feel small.
I picked him up, gave him money, told him I loved him and he hugged me and told me I was the best mama and he loved me. I dropped him off, watched him run into his job in the rain.
I thought I would see him again later, maybe tomorrow.
I didn’t.
There was no later.
He died.
Those are the words I chose. I knew he had a problem. Sometimes I talk to him
When I go to his grave. I tell him I’m sorry.
That I should’ve stayed.
Should’ve been better.
But sorry doesn’t work when the person you owe it to is gone.
I wish I would have hugged you tighter that day. I didn’t know it was your last day. I replay that moment over and over wondering if you knew how much you ment to me. I would have stayed longer. I would have said more or maybe I would have said nothing at all, just stayed by your side soaking in every moment. It’s strange how we think we have all the time in the world only to realize to late that time waits for no one. I hope you left knowing how deeply you were loved.